When it's not "just you"

Seeing a counsellor brings all sorts of responses from people. Some feel excited. Some feel scared. Some feel curious.

For many of my clients, there is also an element of let’s get after this—whether that energy is coming from hope, fear, or a deep desire for things to feel different.I t’s easy to assume that how we feel is something we should simply be able to manage, fix, or “get on top of.”

But I think it’s important to remember that what we’re feeling rarely comes from nowhere. It is often shaped by what is happening around us—and within our bodies.

What I’m Noticing

Lately, I’ve been sitting with clients who feel overwhelmed, reactive, or unlike themselves. And when we slow things down, there is often more to the story.

Grief that hasn’t had space to be processed.A life transition that is quietly destabilizing.
A loved one carrying their own stress, pain, or struggles—and the ways it naturally affects us too.
Hormonal shifts that are impacting mood, energy, and sleep in ways that feel confusing or out of control.

From the outside, it can look like:

“I’m more anxious than I used to be.”

“I don’t have the same patience.”

“I feel off, and I don’t know why.”

But underneath, there are often very real influences at play.

A Shift

Instead of asking, What’s wrong with me? It can be more helpful to ask, What might be influencing me right now?

That question creates space.Space to consider that your nervous system may be responding not only to the present moment, but also to accumulated stress, past experiences, or changes happening internally. Space to recognize that certain parts of you may be working harder to cope—becoming more reactive, more protective, or more critical.And space to approach yourself with more curiosity and less judgment.